Sunday, June 19, 2011

Not Enough Time

Father's Day kind of sucks for me. It makes me sad. My Dad died almost 13 years old and it hasn't gotten any easier. I miss him just as much as I did the day he died.

My Dad was given a year to live when he was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. He died almost a year to the date of his diagnosis. So he had a year to think about his life.

The most poignant thing he said to me was when he was driving me to a family party at my sister, Martha's house one Sunday.

He said, "The one thing I regret is not spending enough time with my family."

I was shocked and I laughed shaking my head.

"What do you mean, Dad. You spent all your time with us. Don't feel like that. I feel like you spent so much time with us. I would never think you didn't spend enough time with me."

He replied very seriously, "I'm not talking about whether or not YOU felt like it was enough. It just wasn't enough for ME."

I've often thought about that over the years in regards to my own husband and children. I know that it would never feel like I had enough time with them if they or I ever died.

Which we will no matter how hard we try not to.

Everybody dies.

It's a fact.

Don't waste a second of it.

Dad and KB hanging in the backyard.

Little Red and Big Red at a Christmas Party.

Mom, Martha, and Dad camping at Lake Powell.

Dad teaching BugaCita to windsurf.

My first camping trip to Sequoia at 6 weeks nestled in my Dad's arms.


whiteleg said...

Thanks for the posting, we all miss your Dad. He was a great man & his influence still lives on...


Vern said...

Totally crying right now you big jerk! Oh yeah, and I love ya.

Ria's Random Thoughts said...

Thanks Gene, that means a lot to me.

Oh Kristy, I didn't mean to make you cry. Love you too.

Lisa R.D. said...

This was beautiful... and it's so true what your dad said, it's never enough time. Thanks for the reminder to have this perspective!